A blonde and her car

She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. “235,000 miles.”

Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde’s friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 25,000. Two days later the blonde’s friend asked her if she had sold the car since her brother dropped the miles. The blonde told her, “Why would I sell the car when there are only 25,000 miles on the clock?”

Another great joke

A man tries to hit on a flight attendant

A man is alone in an airport lounge.

A beautiful young woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.

He decides that because she’s wearing a uniform, she’s probably an off-duty Flight Attendant.

So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto, “To fly, to serve”?

The young woman looks at him blankly.

He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto. “Winning the hearts of the world”?

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred he tries again this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto. “Going beyond expectations”?

The woman looks at him sternly and says, “What the f%^k do you want”?

“Aha!”, he says,… “United Airlines”.

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