I was in a London pub on a Saturday night. Had a few drinks.

I was in a London pub on a Saturday night. Had a few drinks.

I noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had strong accents, so I asked, “Hey, are you two ladies from Scotland?”

One of them turned to me and screamed,

“It’s WALES, you IDIOT”

So I immediately apologized, and said, “Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?”

That’s all I remember.

Another great joke

A man tries to hit on a flight attendant

A man is alone in an airport lounge.

A beautiful young woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.

He decides that because she’s wearing a uniform, she’s probably an off-duty Flight Attendant.

So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto, “To fly, to serve”?

The young woman looks at him blankly.

He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto. “Winning the hearts of the world”?

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred he tries again this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto. “Going beyond expectations”?

The woman looks at him sternly and says, “What the f%^k do you want”?

“Aha!”, he says,… “United Airlines”.

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